This is Me, Responding to Responses to NFL Kneeling

For those have served in and been served by our US military, I can understand and empathize with—although not completely, nor in the same way, because I have never actually served in the military—how hurtful it might be to witness a group of highly influential individuals take a knee during the national anthem and raising of the flag. I have been a recipient of the safety and protection that our military gives us as well and I feel truly grateful for this protection and for the flag and anthem that can symbolize what this sacrifice (the sacrifice of those who died for our liberty and protection) means. 

My parents taught me this respect since I was a boy, and I’m grateful for that. It’s that respect that drives me to go out of my way to verbally thank any service man or woman that I run into during my business travels in airports and airplanes. It’s that respect that has driven me to give up my business class seating to a service woman traveling home from a tour. I feel it and I’m grateful that there are individuals who feel that respect and honor so deeply.

So when I see a photograph of someone perform the Sieg Heil salute—a symbol of oppression, hatred, supremacy, and genocide—while holding our beloved United States flag at a white supremacy rally, I feel deeply disturbed.

(Photo credit: Darren Hauck, Reuters)

When I see groups of our nation’s citizens use the color and symbology of our flag in combination with the Nazi swastika, I am disgusted. 

(Photo credit: AP Photo/John Flavell)

These displays of pride in white privilege and power in our nation, using our nations beloved symbols of liberty and freedom, are truly sad and even scary to me. 

And I wonder how much time and effort the general white american populace has spent combating this level of oppression within our nation. How many white americans have written letters to these organizations, pleading with them to refrain from disrespecting these symbols that our beloved United States stand for? How many of us have blown these acts of treachery up all over the media (like so many are doing with the NFL kneeling), citing how evil and awful it is? How many of us have even given these specifics acts any considerable and serious thought or (even better) strategic oppositional action? I don’t know the answer to these questions. I do know that I personally haven’t spent enough time, if any time at all, doing so. I am, therefore, part of the problem. I am ready to admit that and to start doing something about it. 

In comparison with these displays of everything that is offensive to me about how some individuals choose to use the freedom that our service men and women sacrifice their lives to protect—and that opposes the liberty and justice for all that our nation stands for—the display of silent protest below is acceptable and even appropriate to me, personally. 

(Photo credit: Michael Reeves, Getty Images)

There is a very clear and a very big difference to me between these two responses to, or displays of, our nation's flag and/or anthem. 

These football players have a great deal of influence, more so I believe (and thankfully so) than the white supremacists in the first two photos. The subgroup and subculture of individuals that they represent all too often live a completely different reality than I do. They are still hated, oppressed, and at the very least treated differently (in a negative way) in many parts of our society and nation. I’ve had the opportunity to connect and re-connect with a few black american friends over the past few years. I’ve asked some very hard questions and I’ve allowed myself to listen to, empathize with, and try to understand their reality. And my personal experience has taught me that their reality—their lived experience—can truly be frighteningly oppressive, even so many decades after the Civil Rights Act was passed. Even so many years after slavery was abolished. Racism and micro-aggression is, far too frequently, their reality. So when a group of highly influential people such as NFL players (a group of people that are the most likely to have a very large influence on white americans, who love the sport they play) decide to protest violence and racism in our United States by simply taking a knee or silently decline to participate in that part of the football game program, I’m grateful for their unity and that they are using their freedom to peacefully oppose violence and hatred. Their active protests oppose the kind of hatred and violently abusive behavior that white supremacists in our nation incite. 

So many of my people, my fellow white americans, feel strongly that they need to tell these influential black and white americans that the kind of protesting that they are doing is wrong, and even dangerous. So many of us want to respond to their protests with our feelings of disgust at their disrespect of the flag and our nation’s anthem. We say things like “I get that you have a legitimate reason to feel oppressed and hurt and I even accept that you experience the cold (and often bloody) sting of racism and hatred, but can you please just respect our nation’s symbols of freedom and make your feelings and your complaints known some other way? Just do it like [other group of oppressed people] did it! They did it correctly!” We say, “I would listen to you if you would just calm down and stop hating our country so much.” Or maybe we take it even more personally, saying, “Are you trying to say that white people are then enemy? Aren’t you just hating us in return? That’s white oppression!” 

This happens. I hear it and I see it. 

Frequently. 

It happens so frequently that it causes me a great deal of pain as I reflect on my own experience with abuse. I was violently raped in a bathroom when I was just five years old. Fortunately for me, however, I haven’t had an entire population of people trying to tell me how to respond to the pain of that abuse. I haven’t had people around me, let alone a significant portion of the US population, tell me that they can’t or even won’t listen to my cries of pain and agony because of the way that I was doing it, even if they disagreed with my response. 

Can you imagine telling a five year old rape victim, “I would listen to you if you would just calm down or respond differently” or "Why are you expressing so much anger at the man that raped you? Aren't you just hating him in return? That's oppression!"? 

I can’t. I can't even imagine it. I don't even want to go there. That kind of response would have killed me. Literally.

No one should be allowed to stand over the oppressed or abused and tell them how they get to respond to oppression. No one.

A gallup poll was conducted among a very large sample of white americans in the early 1960s (retrieved from http://www.crmvet.org/docs/60s_crm_public-opinion.pdf). 85% of them were opposed to any of the peaceful demonstrations that one, Martin Luther King, Jr., had organized and carried out in our nation’s capitol, as our nation’s capitol has always been the selfsame symbol of freedom emblemized by the flag and anthem. Statistically, 85% of white america, believed that the peaceful demonstrations that Dr. King had carried out had “hurt more in the advancement of Negro rights.” How grateful our black american brothers and sisters are that the 85% were wrong, as not long after, in 1964, the Civil Rights Act was passed. And how sad it is to me that, as human beings, we have such a hard time owning our own racism and prejudice and empathizing with others. I am still now to some degree, and have certainly been in the past, one of those people. I have a hard time sometimes owning up to my prejudices and biases. I’m sure I’ve got some biases that are even apparent as I write this post, although admittedly I am truly trying to see through it and be understanding and empathetic.

(Photo credit: United States Information Agency)

Dr. King was thrown in jail after a peace protest in Birmingham, Alabama. While in jail he wrote a letter (retrieved from http://kingencyclopedia.stanford.edu/kingweb/popular_requests/frequentdocs/birmingham.pdf) to his “fellow clergymen” in the Birmingham area as a plea to reason with him. In one paragraph of this letter he stated:

"I must confess that over the past few years I have been gravely disappointed with the white moderate. I have almost reached the regrettable conclusion that the Negro’s great stumbling block in his stride toward freedom is not the White Citizen’s Counciler or the Ku Klux Klanner, but the white moderate, who is more devoted to 'order' than to justice; who prefers a negative peace which is the absence of tension to a positive peace which is the presence of justice; who constantly says: 'I agree with you in the goal you seek, but I cannot agree with your methods of direct action'; who paternalistically believes he can set the timetable for another man’s freedom; who lives by a mythical concept of time and who constantly advises the Negro to wait for a 'more convenient season.’” 

This is a small excerpt in what i consider to be one of the most sincere and honest pleas for justice I have ever read. I, too, am disappointed with the white moderate; with my own inaction and ignorance.

He ended his letter with:

"If I have said anything in this letter that overstates the truth and indicates an unreasonable impatience, I beg you to forgive me. If I have said anything that understates the truth and indicates my having a patience that allows me to settle for anything less than brotherhood, I beg God to forgive me.

I hope this letter finds you strong in the faith. I also hope that circumstances will soon make it possible for me to meet each of you, not as an integrationist or a civil-rights leader but as a fellow clergyman and a Christian brother. Let us all hope that the dark clouds of racial prejudice will soon pass away and the deep fog of misunderstanding will be lifted from our fear drenched communities, and in some not too distant tomorrow the radiant stars of love and brotherhood will shine over our great nation with all their scintillating beauty.

Yours for the cause of Peace and Brotherhood, 

Martin Luther King, Jr."

The hard reality is that many individuals and families in this nation are still awaiting, often with a patience that defies reason, the “not too distant tomorrow” when the “radiant stars of love and brotherhood will shine over our great nation with all their scintillating beauty.” I believe that some in our nation would say that they have actually seen this brotherhood shine as they witnessed some entire NFL teams kneel together in love in order to stand for peace and justice for all.

Bernice King, daughter of Martin Luther King, Jr. (who was assassinated when she was only 5 years old), stated that “people didn’t approve of the way my father protested injustice either; said he was causing trouble, called him an ‘outside agitator.’” She said, “I mourn with those for whom the flag is a reminder of a loved one’s death; & I mourn with those for whom it is a reminder of racial injustice.” (retrieved from https://twitter.com/BerniceKing)

My feelings have reflected hers during these events and responses from so many individuals. I have read and listened to responses from those scorned by a racism and injustice that they feel they have no way to protest against, who are grateful for these NFL players who use their influence to do so for them. I have read and listened to responses from many of our service men and women and their families at this protest, who feel deeply saddened and pained by the disrespect that they perceive these players have for our nation and its symbols of freedom. I do mourn with those that have lost and been lost to uphold our nation's freedoms. I also mourn with those who look at the flag and hear our national anthem and feel the sharp sting of trauma and pain related to racism and its ugliness. 

I am willing to own my biases, prejudice, bigotry, and racism. 

I am ready to do all I can (as imperfect as I am) to listen and respond in love and support without judgment and condescension.